Yangtze River Turns Red and Turns Up a Mystery
Scientists throughout the world are unable to explain why this river in China turned red, but Bex offered the only logical, rational, and correct solution. He is given world aclaim for the solution.
Bex: It is really simple, folks. It is common knowledge world over that both Obama and Romney have never spoken the truth about anything. Either or both of them were considering doing it for the first time, and the Earth could not tolerate such an unprecedented act. The Earth held it's breath which turned the river red (equivilent to a person holding his breath). Fortunately, the candidate(s) did not carry through, and soon the color will right itself.
