If You Believe This Will Work, Then Have I Got A Golden Gate Bridge For You To Buy.

Charlie Sheen Rehabs At Home!


Charlie Sheen doesn't have to travel far to get better, because TMZ has learned he's doing rehab at home.

Sources connected with the actor tell us ... CBS, Warner Bros. and Charlie put their heads together and found an expert in addiction they think can help Charlie conquer his demons.

The expert and other professionals are coming to Charlie's gated community in L.A., in no small part for privacy reasons. Many rehab facilities can be tricky when it comes to patients and others spilling secrets.

Boehner: U.S. Will Not Default on Debt, But Congress Will Slash Spending

John Boehner: We will balance the budget by simply removing all funding for the sick, disabled, and poor. They have bootstraps the same as me and my rich pals. Let them pick themselves up by their own bootstraps and feel good about themselves.

You say they will die? People die!

Bristol Palin: They Want A Virgin To Discuss Virtues Of Virginity? Ha! Get Real!

Washington University has announced that Bristol Palin will no longer be speaking during its annual "Sexual Responsibility Week," as announced earlier this week.

She had been scheduled to speak on abstinence, but after her speaking fee of $20,000 came to light, a number of students felt this would be an inappropriate use of university activity committee funds. Although Bristol Palin is known to be a politically polarizing figure, most students are insisting it is not her politics but her exhorbitant fee that has them concerned.

Her fee will be taken from an annual activity fee into which all students pay to cover events and activities. But that's not their only concern. Palin may simply be unqualified to speak to abstinence-only education.

"Her only qualification for speaking about abstinence is that she did not abstain." Student Jon Branfman told the St. Louis Beacon.



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Top World Bankers Offer To Sell Golden gate Bridge

Bankers release memo to banking world: Snort, snort, yuk, yuk. It was like clubbing baby seals. Really no challenge at all.


DAVOS, Switzerland (Reuters) – Top bankers adopted a softer tone after high-level meetings at the World Economic Forum on Saturday, thanking governments for shoring up the financial system in the hope of avoiding tighter regulation.


But, in a reminder of the problems banks still face after absorbing billions of dollars of taxpayers' money in bailouts, French Finance Minister Christine Lagarde said financiers needed to show real thanks by changing their behavior.

Pro-Deathers: What's The Crime In Kermit Gosnell Being Untidy?

Pro-Deathers release memo:

 Our great US Supreme Court has ruled that unborn babies can be killed, because they are unfit for life or they are just mounds of lifeless matter. So our boy Kerm is untidy by having body...er, matter parts in the shapes of heads, legs, arms, and torsos lying around his shop. Should you be arrested just 'cause you haven't cleaned your house? Of course not. Neither should Kerm.

We praise our boy, Kerm
Who's the cure for the effects of sperm,
He brings babies lives to term
His right to kill is very firm

Pro-Deathers,  Pro-Deathers, we are proud Pro-Deathers
There is nothing good about Pro-Lifers,
If the thrill of watching the unborn gasp
their last breath while in our grasp

Makes you want the thrill of the kill
and gives you the notion to do an abortion,
Just come to  one of our killing places
and help  us flush those unknown faces.

Pro-Deathers, Pro-Deathers
we are proud Pro-Deathers.

Ohio Mom Dares To Want Better School For Kids

Can you imagine? This mom lives in a crime-ridden neighborhood, but wants her children to have a chance to have a better life. She must think they are better than the criminals living near her. Ha! This Ohio school district is not about to be fooled. This Mom is now a felon. She will think twice before trying to better her children in the future.

Read the story.

 Ohio Mom Jailed for Sending Her Kids to a Better School

Much of the poltical rhetoric on education reform has centered on the ability of parents to send their children to better schools, particularly in situations where they were forced to send them to schools that were failing. But in the case of Kelley Williams-Bolar, her desire to get her children better educational placement landed her in jail, and may well derail her aspirations of becoming a teacher herself.

Williams-Bolar, 40, and her two children live in housing projects in Akron, Ohio. For two years, she sent them to school in the Copley-Fairlawn district, where her father lived, because it was a safer environment -- the high crime rate in her area drove her decision. The suburban school district hired a private investigator to find their residential records and it turned out she listed the children as living in that district, although they actually stayed with her.



(More on TIME.com: See pictures of a Mandarin school in Minneapolis)



Technically, that qualifies as a felony since she falsified records, and Judge Patricia Cosgrove sentenced her to two concurrent five-year prison sentences. She suspended the sentence, though, in favor of a 10-day jail sentence, 80 hours of community service and three years probation. She had been working as a teaching assistant for special needs children and earning a teaching degree, but since she is now a convicted felon, under Ohio law she cannot earn that degree.



The conviction has caused outrage among many who advocate change and improvement in education, particularly for the poor and disadvantaged minority communities. Syracuse University professor Boyce Watkins took to the blogosphere to openly voice his outrage.



"There is no logical reason on earth why this mother of two should be dehumanized by going to jail and be left permanently marginalized from future economic and educational opportunities, he wrote on his blog. "Even if you believe in the laws that keep poor kids trapped in underperforming schools, the idea that this woman should be sent to jail for demanding educational access is simply ridiculous."

The website Change.org has launched a petition in support of reduction on appeal of Williams-Bolar's conviction, and have started a Twitter campaign on it.

Both girls, now aged 16 and 12, attended schools in Copley-Fairlawn from August 2006 to June 2008, but now attend school elsewhere, according to the Akron Beacon-Journal.

GOP: Vote To Select Which Photo John Boehner Should Use When Speaking For Us!

GOP releases memo: Fellow Americans, John Boehner is known as a big sissy- crybaby, but, don't forget, he is OUR sissy- crybaby. (You ought to see  him when he doesn't get his way.)

Vote to see which photo should be on all official GOP correspondence.

Photo a             Photo b             both photos

Photo a

                                                                          Photo b

GOP: Boehner Replies To Obama's State Of the Union Speech

Boehner: The DNC's State of Union given last night requires much attention. My team will over each and every comma, period, and sentence. They will divide the speech into catagories:

l. Things Obama is For, and,
2: Things Obama is Against.

Regarding Things Obama  is For, we simply say NO!

The DUH Report: Islamic militants suspected in Russia airport bombing

Another DUH Report: Don't you get tired of people saying things that are so self-evident, obvious to any rational or irrational being, that you can't believe someone would go to the trouble of actually saying them. For example, "Gosh, the sun is bright", "People can't fly like birds", etc.

Iran Advises Arab Countries How To Keep Rulers In Power

Iran to Arab countries: Do you remember how Russia used to keep its Captive Nations and its citizens subdued with gulags, force, secret police, death, beatings, etc? We did the same recently and we are still in power.

Go Ye and do likewise, and Ye shall in power remain.

GOP: Snort, Snort, Yuk, Yuk

GOP: We try to fool all  the people all the time.

Rep. Paul Ryan (R) To Answer Obama For GOP

Republicans say the choice of House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan to deliver the party's response to the State of the Union address signals the GOP's commitment to deficit reduction. The Wisconsin lawmaker was a member of President Obama's bipartisan fiscal commission, but voted against its recommendations.

Regardless of what Obama says, if he is for something, we just say NO!

John Boehner Defines GOP Strategy

John Boehner: My official seal appears on all my
                       email.

Our strategy is simple. The GOP looks at every political possibility and determines these factors:

a. Regardless of how good, beneficial, or helpful it
    is to the American people, if Obama is for it, we
    just say NO!

b. Does it directly get the rich richer. If not, we
    just say NO!

John Boehenr: Here Is How To Be Sure Your Email Is From Me!!!!

My Dear Rich Pals,

If you receive any emails with my email address on them, make sure my official seal is enclosed somewhere or they are fake.








                                                                                                                                                         

GOP Has Good Reason To Be Upset At Bad News!!!!!!

John Boehner expresses feelings that all GOP suffer for the possibility that the rich may have to pay taxes and the disabled will have health insurance.

John: We will fight this injustice to the very last penny used to help the sick and poor.

GOP: Amen!                                                                                                                   

Geneology Mystery Finally Solved By Scholarly Research

Finally, the age-old mystery of someone who everybody has heard about but who is allegedly not known by anyone is solved after years of research.




We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'



Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.


Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, FullaSchitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.


After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.


Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.


The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.


The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.


Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.


He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.


Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

I just learned that some sick baby got away with free health care.

GOP and Health Care

GOP: This proves what we think about the have-nots, sick, and disabled who can't affort their own health care. We say to them: Get yourselves rich and afford it as we do. Then we will have respect for you.

Congress: 'Symbolic' passage“The House voted Wednesday to repeal the Democrats’ landmark health care overhaul, marking what the new Republican majority in the chamber hailed as the fulfillment of a campaign promise and the start of an all-out effort to dismantle President Obama’s signature domestic policy achievement,” the New York Times says.

GOP: You Expect Us, The Haves, To Pay Taxes? So The Have-Nots Can Have Health Insurance?

GOP: We looked up the definition of a word that is alien to us, T-A-X-E-S. This appears to be money that comes out of the pocket of the taxpayer and goes elsewhere. Who is behind this insidious scheme of making us, the Haves, shell out money? We rake it in. We don't give a shit about the poor and disabled. Let them pick themselves up by their bootstraps if they are worthy.

Quiz: What Do Movie and TV Stars and Royalty Have in Common? Who Has the Best Technique?

Mark McGrath     Morissette   Gavin     Lindsay Lohan     Sophie Monk     Calvin Klein     Cole    

Prince William     Macca     Jant Jackson     SJP     Jim Carry     Wannabe Queen Camellia

Ethan Hawke     Kevin Federline


                                             Can you match names and fingers?

The DUH Report: DeLay lawyer says his client will never spend day in jail

GOP:  Would anyone pay to read a newspaper' headlines that printed things like, " The Sun Causes Sunburn", " Water Can Freeze if Tempertature Gets Low Enough", "The Sun is Hot", etc.  These things are innately obvious to any rational being. One of  our own going to prison? (Snort, snort, yuk, yuk)

Tue, Jan 11 2011
Ex-House leader DeLay gets 3-year prison term

SAN ANTONIO, Tex.
Thu Jan 13, 2011 12:00pm EST

SAN ANTONIO, Tex. (Reuters) - The attorney for former House leader Tom DeLay said on Thursday he is preparing a series of motions to appeal and overturn DeLay's conviction on conspiracy and money laundering charges.


Dick DeGuerin said in an interview from his Houston office that he is confident that DeLay will never spend a day in prison.

NRA: Much Ado About Nothing While Dems Abort Innocents

The NRA (National Rifle Abomination) issued this statement to the press today: The liberals complain that we want laws that ensure each citizen carry weapons. They don't mention that we want children under 5 to only carry non-automatics. They don't mention that we want children under 3 to only carry single shot pistols. They do mention all the lives that could be saved if we had decent gun-control laws, but they do not mention all the lives lost when they commit abortion. Talk about double standards. We give citizens a chance to defend themselves against killers while they murder innocents who cannot defend themselves. For example, if a bully in the 6th grade pulled out his Uzi to mow down his prey, the prey's pals could whip out their Uzis and goodby bully. Yeh, some of the pals would be accidently killed by the flying bullets, but isn't that a small price to pay for right of self-defence?

National Rifle Abomination: Arizona Proves Need for Compulsary Gun Coverage

The NRA ( National Rifle Abomination) released this memo today: The killing of innocents by a nut with a gun in Arizona proves that all citizens must be armed at all times. That crowd of people could have shot the nut to doll rags in a jiffy. Yes, more innocents would have been killed with all those bullets flying, but that is a small price to pay for defending the right and responsibility to carrry arms. Each would have kicked the dust with a smile on his/her face. In keeping our pledge to responsibility, we still maintain that all children under 5-years old should only carry non-automatic weapons.