GOP: Boehner Replies To Obama's State Of the Union Speech

Boehner: The DNC's State of Union given last night requires much attention. My team will over each and every comma, period, and sentence. They will divide the speech into catagories:

l. Things Obama is For, and,
2: Things Obama is Against.

Regarding Things Obama  is For, we simply say NO!

The DUH Report: Islamic militants suspected in Russia airport bombing

Another DUH Report: Don't you get tired of people saying things that are so self-evident, obvious to any rational or irrational being, that you can't believe someone would go to the trouble of actually saying them. For example, "Gosh, the sun is bright", "People can't fly like birds", etc.

Iran Advises Arab Countries How To Keep Rulers In Power

Iran to Arab countries: Do you remember how Russia used to keep its Captive Nations and its citizens subdued with gulags, force, secret police, death, beatings, etc? We did the same recently and we are still in power.

Go Ye and do likewise, and Ye shall in power remain.

GOP: Snort, Snort, Yuk, Yuk

GOP: We try to fool all  the people all the time.

Rep. Paul Ryan (R) To Answer Obama For GOP

Republicans say the choice of House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan to deliver the party's response to the State of the Union address signals the GOP's commitment to deficit reduction. The Wisconsin lawmaker was a member of President Obama's bipartisan fiscal commission, but voted against its recommendations.

Regardless of what Obama says, if he is for something, we just say NO!

John Boehner Defines GOP Strategy

John Boehner: My official seal appears on all my
                       email.

Our strategy is simple. The GOP looks at every political possibility and determines these factors:

a. Regardless of how good, beneficial, or helpful it
    is to the American people, if Obama is for it, we
    just say NO!

b. Does it directly get the rich richer. If not, we
    just say NO!

John Boehenr: Here Is How To Be Sure Your Email Is From Me!!!!

My Dear Rich Pals,

If you receive any emails with my email address on them, make sure my official seal is enclosed somewhere or they are fake.








                                                                                                                                                         

GOP Has Good Reason To Be Upset At Bad News!!!!!!

John Boehner expresses feelings that all GOP suffer for the possibility that the rich may have to pay taxes and the disabled will have health insurance.

John: We will fight this injustice to the very last penny used to help the sick and poor.

GOP: Amen!                                                                                                                   

Geneology Mystery Finally Solved By Scholarly Research

Finally, the age-old mystery of someone who everybody has heard about but who is allegedly not known by anyone is solved after years of research.




We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'



Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.


Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.


Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.


In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, FullaSchitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.


Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.


After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.


Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.


Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.


The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.


The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.


Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.


He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.


Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.


Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

I just learned that some sick baby got away with free health care.

GOP and Health Care

GOP: This proves what we think about the have-nots, sick, and disabled who can't affort their own health care. We say to them: Get yourselves rich and afford it as we do. Then we will have respect for you.

Congress: 'Symbolic' passage“The House voted Wednesday to repeal the Democrats’ landmark health care overhaul, marking what the new Republican majority in the chamber hailed as the fulfillment of a campaign promise and the start of an all-out effort to dismantle President Obama’s signature domestic policy achievement,” the New York Times says.

GOP: You Expect Us, The Haves, To Pay Taxes? So The Have-Nots Can Have Health Insurance?

GOP: We looked up the definition of a word that is alien to us, T-A-X-E-S. This appears to be money that comes out of the pocket of the taxpayer and goes elsewhere. Who is behind this insidious scheme of making us, the Haves, shell out money? We rake it in. We don't give a shit about the poor and disabled. Let them pick themselves up by their bootstraps if they are worthy.

Quiz: What Do Movie and TV Stars and Royalty Have in Common? Who Has the Best Technique?

Mark McGrath     Morissette   Gavin     Lindsay Lohan     Sophie Monk     Calvin Klein     Cole    

Prince William     Macca     Jant Jackson     SJP     Jim Carry     Wannabe Queen Camellia

Ethan Hawke     Kevin Federline


                                             Can you match names and fingers?

The DUH Report: DeLay lawyer says his client will never spend day in jail

GOP:  Would anyone pay to read a newspaper' headlines that printed things like, " The Sun Causes Sunburn", " Water Can Freeze if Tempertature Gets Low Enough", "The Sun is Hot", etc.  These things are innately obvious to any rational being. One of  our own going to prison? (Snort, snort, yuk, yuk)

Tue, Jan 11 2011
Ex-House leader DeLay gets 3-year prison term

SAN ANTONIO, Tex.
Thu Jan 13, 2011 12:00pm EST

SAN ANTONIO, Tex. (Reuters) - The attorney for former House leader Tom DeLay said on Thursday he is preparing a series of motions to appeal and overturn DeLay's conviction on conspiracy and money laundering charges.


Dick DeGuerin said in an interview from his Houston office that he is confident that DeLay will never spend a day in prison.

NRA: Much Ado About Nothing While Dems Abort Innocents

The NRA (National Rifle Abomination) issued this statement to the press today: The liberals complain that we want laws that ensure each citizen carry weapons. They don't mention that we want children under 5 to only carry non-automatics. They don't mention that we want children under 3 to only carry single shot pistols. They do mention all the lives that could be saved if we had decent gun-control laws, but they do not mention all the lives lost when they commit abortion. Talk about double standards. We give citizens a chance to defend themselves against killers while they murder innocents who cannot defend themselves. For example, if a bully in the 6th grade pulled out his Uzi to mow down his prey, the prey's pals could whip out their Uzis and goodby bully. Yeh, some of the pals would be accidently killed by the flying bullets, but isn't that a small price to pay for right of self-defence?

National Rifle Abomination: Arizona Proves Need for Compulsary Gun Coverage

The NRA ( National Rifle Abomination) released this memo today: The killing of innocents by a nut with a gun in Arizona proves that all citizens must be armed at all times. That crowd of people could have shot the nut to doll rags in a jiffy. Yes, more innocents would have been killed with all those bullets flying, but that is a small price to pay for defending the right and responsibility to carrry arms. Each would have kicked the dust with a smile on his/her face. In keeping our pledge to responsibility, we still maintain that all children under 5-years old should only carry non-automatic weapons.

NPR and Freedom of Speech

Juan Williams said on NPR what the vast majority of Amerians think and feel, and, for this, he was fired by NPR. It is my sincere hope that congress cuts its funding.

Polanski: Swiss Make Much Ado About Nothing

OK,OK. Sure I'm a rapist, pervert, criminal, escapee from justice, dirty old man, and just love young girls, but you are forgetting one thing: I can get away with it because I'm rich. (Snort, snort). 13-year olds are the best.

Polanski: Young Love Makes You Smile

Polanski: I am always ready, able, and willing, to make real women of young girls. How long do you think I'll remain under Swiss house arrest? I'll be in France before you can say, "Jack Rabbit".

Hail to all young girls...especially the 13-year olds who will always have a special place in my bed.

NRA Offers More Proof of Right to Carry Arms

NRA: Yep, read this. Now, if each resident of that nursing home had been carrying an BAR, some them would still be alive. Police: Gunman's estranged wife worked at home

CARTHAGE, N.C. (AP) — Investigators are looking into whether a gunman accused of killing eight people in a North Carolina nursing home may have targeted the facility because his estranged wife worked there, police said Monday.

Carthage Police Chief Chris McKenzie said the woman, who he did not name, worked at the nursing home. He said he believed that the couple were recently separated but that he did not have any other details. He was not sure if the woman was at the nursing home at the time of the shootings.

Authorities said Robert Stewart, 45, went on a terrifying rampage in the Pinelake Health and Rehab center on Sunday morning, killing seven residents and a nurse and wounding three others.

Logic Explains AIG Bonuses

Ailing AIG stands by need for bonuses

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner initially objected to the $165 million in payments but agreed the losses could be greater if employees are not retained.

By E. Scott Reckard and Jim Puzzanghera March 15, 2009

Reasoning: Geithner: After all, only about 10% of the 170 billion is being used for bonuses. US citizen: But, that is 165 million. Geithner: Exactly. They will use 90% to keep the brightest and best. Otherwise they may quit to find better jobs. US citizen: Aren't the the ones who brought AIG to the brink of collapse in the first place? How would they find better jobs in this economy?

Geithner: Maybe Dubya was right about US citizens not knowing how the economy works.

Tsk, tsk. We need to educate you.

Do You Know Who I Am?? The Great Me????

David Vitter: Did Madoff go to jail? Neither will I. Rules are different

for us rich. Like it or lump it, peasants!!!!

TSA Probing Vitter Incident

March 11, 2009 6:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) |

The Transportation Security Administration is examining Sen. David Vitter's much-reported decision to open the closed gateway door to his plane -- even though he was warned against it by an airline worker.

"We will be reviewing the alleged incident," Lauren Gaches, a TSA spokeswoman, told On Call this evening.

Roll Call first reported that Vitter, a Louisiana Republican known to the wider Washington world for showing up in the phone records of the DC madam, set off the security alarm Thursday when he tried to board a United Airlines flight from Washington Dulles to New Orleans. Vitter arrived at the gate 20 minutes before departure, and having been denied access to the plane, spiraled into what Roll Call called a "timeworn 'do-you-know-who-I-am' tirade" that "grew quite heated." He set off the security alarm when he opened the door, a spy told the paper.

ACLU Vents Ire On Italy

Italy passes emergency rape law

Italy's government has rushed through a decree to crack down on sexual violence and illegal immigration after a spate of rapes blamed on foreigners.

ACLU:

Sputter, sputter, rant, rave. What madness is this? What about the rights of the rapists? Italy is thinking only about the victims, but the rapists are the ones who are having their rights trounced on by a dictatorial state.

You Gotta' Show Them Who's Boss

US Muslim TV boss 'beheaded wife'

Aasiya Hassan had recently filed for divorce, alleging domestic violence

The founder of a US Muslim TV network has been charged over the beheading of his wife, media reports say.

Muzzammil Hassan, 44, is accused of second degree murder of Aasiya Hassan, whose body was found last week at the TV station in New York state.

Both Mr Hassan and his wife worked at Bridges TV, a station aimed at countering stereotypes of Muslims.

Authorities said Mrs Hassan, 37, had recently filed for divorce. The couple had two children, aged four and six.

Bridges TV, a satellite-distributed news and opinion channel, was founded by Mr Hassan in 2004 and was based in a suburb in Buffalo, in upstate New York.

Mrs Hassan had filed for divorce after enduring previous incidents of domestic violence, her lawyer told the Buffalo News.

Logic Of Hamas

HAMAS 1: Hey, Bro, what you want to do today? HAMAS 2: The usual, you know, go fire rockets at Israel. HAMAS 1: Let's make it a party and invite average people who live in this land. HAMAS 2. Terrific, I'll invite them. AVERAGE PEO PLE: Are you crazy? After years of sending rockets to them and killing innocents, you forced them to come here and destroy everything. HAMAS 2: Everything?? We still have rockets left, so we can kill more innocents. AVERAGE PEOPLE: You are causing us to be destroyed. HAMAS 2 : Suck it up and be tough. We'll see you at the party tonight or the rockets will "accidentlly" find you. AVERAGE PEOPLE: Hamas is really a terrorist organization and they are crazy.

Daschle: Me? Years Of Back Taxes? Just An Oversight!

Report: Daschle Delayed Tax Revelation

Health and Human Services secretary nominee reportedly waited nearly a month after being nominated before informing President Obama that he had not paid years of back taxes.

FOXNews.com

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Former South Dakota Senator Tom Daschle waited nearly a month after being nominated to be secretary of health and human services before informing President Obama that he had not paid years of back taxes, the Washington Post reports.

On Jan. 2, Daschle paid $140,000 in back taxes and interest to the U.S. Treasury and about two days later informed the White House and the Senate Finance Committee, the White House confirmed to the Post.

Obama's transition team discovered in December that $15,000 of the $276,000 in charitable contributions claimed by Daschle lacked proper documentation. But Daschle waited until after amended returns were filed before he mentioned the larger tax liability.

GOP: Let Them Work For Their Insurance.

GOP: Look at these liberals giving health care to poor children. Let them do as we rich folks did: That is, let them inherit wealth. Damn slackards. Help for 11 Million Children New York Times - 15 hours ago Congress is moving rapidly to rectify the Bush administration’s shameful refusal to expand the State Children’s Health Insurance Program, or S-chip, to cover substantially more low- and middle-income children

Obama's First Real Test

Will Obama keep this man who represents the essence of dishonesty?

Daschle did not pay taxes, and he made millions in the past 2 years.

Report: Daschle Received $220G From Health Care Groups With Vested Interest

Sen. Tom Daschle, President Obama's nominee to head the Department of Health and Human Services, reportedly received $220,000 in speaking fees from health care groups with a vested interest in the work he would do once confirmed as health chief.

Tom Daschle, the former South Dakota senator picked by President Obama to reside over the nation's healthcare system, received $220,000 in speaking fees from health care groups with an interest in the work he would do once confirmed as health chief, Politico.com reported Saturday.

Daschle, who has come under fire in recent days for his failure to pay taxes, reportedly received thousands from health care groups -- such as the Health Industry Distributors Association -- that stand to gain or lose depending on the outcome of Obama's universal health care initiative.

The Health Industry Associated paid Dashle a speaking fee of $14,000 in March 2008, according to Politico.com.

Report: Daschle Received $220G From Health Care Groups With Vested Interest

Sen. Tom Daschle, President Obama's nominee to head the Department of Health and Human Services, reportedly received $220,000 in speaking fees from health care groups with a vested interest in the work he would do once confirmed as health chief.

powered by Baynote

Tom Daschle, the former South Dakota senator picked by President Obama to reside over the nation's healthcare system, received $220,000 in speaking fees from health care groups with an interest in the work he would do once confirmed as health chief, Politico.com reported Saturday.

Daschle, who has come under fire in recent days for his failure to pay taxes, reportedly received thousands from health care groups -- such as the Health Industry Distributors Association -- that stand to gain or lose depending on the outcome of Obama's universal health care initiative.

The Health Industry Associated paid Dashle a speaking fee of $14,000 in March 2008, according to Politico.com.

Bernie Madoff: You Must Be Joking. ME go to jail?

American Justice System to prosecutors: Do you realize how much money this guy has? And, you want to put him in jail? Get real! It is more punishment to banish him to a mere $7,000,000 penthouse. Poor people get justice. Rich people get off. Bulletproof Bernie: Gov't Effort to Revoke Madoff Bail Again Bounces Off Court Sends Madoff Back to $7Mil Penthouse By RICHARD ESPOSITO and AARON KATERSKY Jan. 14, 2009 The federal government today took a second shot at attempting to argue in court that alleged $50 billion fraudster Bernard Madoff ought be put behind bars while it gets its case against him into shape for court, and a second federal judge deflected the attempt to revoke the current bail conditions. He need not have bothered to doff the vest. The whole thing took less than one hour. Then it was back out into the bitter cold, into the grey SUV and back up to the posh confines of his $7 million penthouse

History Of Current Isareli War With Hamas

Hamas: Let's send rockets into Israel and kill some innocents. Israel: Hey world, get Hamas to stop killing our people with rockets. World: Tsk, tsk. Hamas is only playing. After all, boys will be boys. Israel: If the UN won't help us, we will be forced to defend ourselves. World: Israel, don't take things so seriously. Hamas: We have the right to kill all Israelis, because they have no right to exist. We won't stop. Israel: OK, UN, this is our last request for help. UN: Ah, Israel, don't provoke Hamas with threats to defend yourself. Israel: OK, let's defend ourselves . Hamas: Oh, look at the violent, murderous, savage, uncivilized Israeli. Can you imagine? They are attacking just because we kill them. World, UN, rise up and denounce this savagery. World: Israel, stop your aggression. Be good. We will have protests, parades, rallies, demonstrations, and violent happenings to show we want Israel to stop defending itself.

NRA: This Proves We Are Correct !!!!

NRA: Read this article. If everyone of the students at that school had been carrying, pistols, glocks, or automatic weapons, those punks in the car would not have not escaped. If kids were allowed to carry guns starting in Pre-K, no one would dare pester anyone else. Those damn liberals who...well, you get the idea. Remember, guns don't kill people. People kill people.

5 wounded in Chicago high school drive-by

• Story Highlights
• Police: Gunmen in SUV fire shots outside Chicago high school
• Five people treated at hospital for gunshot wounds
• Police say shooting appears to be gang-related
• Next Article in Crime »

CHICAGO, Illinois (CNN) -- Five people were shot Friday outside a Chicago, Illinois, high school, police said.

Police say a shooting outside a Chicago high school on Friday may be gang-related.

Authorities said the shooting occurred about 8 p.m. CT outside Dunbar High School on Chicago's South Side.

"It appears to be gang-related," Chicago Police Superintendent Jody Weis said at a news conference, adding that more than 200 officers were investigating the incident.

"We anticipate solving this thing in the not too distant future," Weis said.

Chicago Fire Department spokeswoman Eve Rodriguez said the five people -- all males -- were wounded by gunfire and taken to area hospitals. Two were in serious condition, one was in critical condition and two were in stable condition, she said.

Yes Virginia, You can have a white background with black font (plus an image if desired) on your Desktop with W-XP

Virginia: Bex, I now know there is a Santa Clause, but there are many articles on the internet stating that a Windows XP Desktop cannot have a white background (plus an image or wallpaper if desired) with black font. Mr. Gates must really think we are stupid. What do you say? Bex: Yes, Virginia, Billy really does think we are stupid, but there is a way to do this. Here are detailed instructions: a. Right-click "My Computer", select "Properties", and click the "Advanced" tab. b. Click the "Settings" button in the "Performance" section. Click the "Visual Effects" tab. c. Un-check the "Use drop shadows from icon tables on the Desktop." Click "OK". d. Right-click on a blank spot on the Desktop, and click "Properties" on the pop-up menu. e. Click the "Desktop" tab. Scroll up the "Background" menu, and choose "None". f. Click the "Color" button and choose the white or light background you like. g. If you want an image, click the "Browse" button and select the image or photo you want on your Desktop. h. Click "Open" and the "Display Properties" window opens again. i. Click the "Position" button to position the image on the Desktop. Click "OK". j. Now click the "Appearance" tab. k. Click the "Advanced" button. l. Click the "Item" on the drop-down menu that appears. m. Select "Icon". n. Change the font size to 47 or lower. o. Select the black color, and bold if desired p. Click "OK, click "OK". Bex: Now,Virginia, you have what you want. Virginia: Wow, Bex, it works. Thank you. Bex: You are welcome, Virginia.

Dubya Grants Bex An Exit Interview

Bex: Well, Dubya, it is... Dubya: It's Dubya SIR, Bex. Bex: I'm sorry, Dubya Sir, it won't happen again. Will you tell the world about your greatest accomplishments as Prez Dubya for the past 8 years? Dubya: I'll be glad to. I know I'm bragging, but I am so proud of my work. We don't have time for everything, but I'll try to hit the highlights. I'll put them in a list so they will be easier to read. a. I've let my rich pals pollute the air with whatever they needed to get richer. b. I signed orders that caused the environment to be polluted and decay. c. My rich pals were able to pay enough to get Medicare Prescriptions passed. d. My rich pals gave themselves multi-million bonuses while their industries were going broke. e. My VP was able to get his old company to get billions of dollars in Iraq without a bid. f. I gave my rich pals.... Bex: I'm so sorry, Duba Sir, but we are running out of time. Could you tell the public about some of you failures? Dubya: Of course, Bex, but mind you these failures were due to the liberal press even though everyone in the USA supported me.Here are some highlights: a. I was not able to destroy Social Security. Just think, if it had been destroyed, all those chumps who had to invest in stock would have gone under as the stock market collapased. Then my rich pals could have purchased those poor slobs at little cost...or, they would starve. b. I was not able to ruin the Artic Circle with oil wells for my rich pals. c. My rich CEO pals were forced to cut their bonuses down to 5-20 millions when their industries were bailed out. d. I was not able to complete the pollution of... Bex: Again I'm sorry, Dubya Sir, but my deadline is near. Could you summarize your reign in one sentence? Dubya: My whole agenda was successful on the whole as I was able to get me and my rich pals richer at the expense of the poor. Bex: Well, thank you, Dubya Sir, your legacy is set as long as mankind is on earth. Dubya: Be sure to spell my name correctly. It is D..U..B..Y..A S..I..R. Bex : It will be done.

GOP Win Is Cinch

Why do all the fat, rich Republicans sit around during fine whiskey and smoking finer cigars? It is because they know they win. This knowledge does not spring from knowledge that Democrats are willing to marry the same sex, kill babies, and other horrendous crimes under the guise of equal rights and liberalism.

No, it is due to the fact that they can keep rising oil prices so that only the Republicans can afford to travel to vote. Plus, they get all the profits.

Dubya: Report Is Proof My Agenda Has Worked

Report Says That the Rich Are Getting Richer Faster, Much Faster Mario Tama/Getty Images At the New York Stock Exchange. Investments have been a big source of rising wealth. By DAVID CAY JOHNSTONPublished: December 15, 2007

The increase in incomes of the top 1 percent of Americans from 2003 to 2005 exceeded the total income of the poorest 20 percent of Americans, data in a new report by the Congressional Budget Office shows.

The poorest fifth of households had total income of $383.4 billion in 2005, while just the increase in income for the top 1 percent came to $524.8 billion, a figure 37 percent higher. The total income of the top 1.1 million households was $1.8 trillion, or 18.1 percent of the total income of all Americans, up from 14.3 percent of all income in 2003. The total 2005 income of the three million individual Americans at the top was roughly equal to that of the bottom 166 million Americans, analysis of the report showed.

Save the Environment: Feed Kangaroos Beans

Thanks to special bacteria in their stomachs, kangaroo flatulence contains no methane and scientists want to transfer that bacteria to cattle and sheep who emit large quantities of the harmful gas. While the usual image of greenhouse gas pollution is a billowing smokestack pushing out carbon dioxide, livestock passing wind contribute a surprisingly high percentage of total emissions in some countries. "Fourteen percent of emissions from all sources in Australia is from enteric methane from cattle and sheep," said Athol Klieve, a senior research scientist with the Queensland state government. "And if you look at another country such as New Zealand, which has got a much higher agricultural base, they're actually up around 50 percent," he told AFP. Researchers say the bacteria also makes the digestive process much more efficient and could potentially save millions of dollars in feed costs for farmers. "Not only would they not produce the methane, they would actually get something like 10 to 15 percent more energy out of the feed they are eating," said Klieve. Even farmers who laugh at the idea of environmentally friendly kangaroo farts say that's nothing to joke about, particularly given the devastating drought Australia is suffering. "In a tight year like a drought situation, 15 percent would be a considerable sum," said farmer Michael Mitton. But it will take researchers at least three years to isolate the bacteria, before they can even start to develop a way of transferring it to cattle and sheep. Another group of scientists, meanwhile, has suggested Australians should farm fewer cattle and sheep and just eat more kangaroos. The idea is controversial, but about 20 percent of health conscious Australians are believed to eat the national symbol already. "It's low in fat, it's got high protein levels it's very clean in the sense that basically it's the ultimate free range animal," said Peter Ampt of the University of New South Wales's institute of environmental studies. "It doesn't get drenched, it doesn't get vaccinated, it utilizes food right across the landscape, it moves around to where the food is good, so yes, it's a good food." It might take a while for kangaroos to become popular barbecue fare, but with concern over global warming growing in the world's driest inhabited continent, Australians could soon be ready to try almost anything to cut emissions.

Ahamadinejad: US intelligence review says we are good. We win.

TEHRAN, Iran - A new U.S. intelligence review concluding Iran stopped developing an atomic weapons program in 2003 is a "declaration of victory" for Iran's nuclear program, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Wednesday.

Bex asks: Whoa, isn't this the same U.S. intelligence that concluded Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?

National Political Correctness Contest: Who Can Be The First To Boot Christ Out Of Christmas?

A frantic-paced race among big businesses in America to win the race to be politically correct during Christmas time. They are racing to call:

a. Christmas trees, "Holiday Day trees"

b. Christmas time, "Holiday time"

c. Merry Christmas, " Happy Holiday"

d. The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, "The Grinch Who Stole the Holiday"

Liberal judges, educators, and politicians will be the judges. The penalties for losing will be fines, jail time, and lashes.

Cat In The Hat For Golden Oldies

Hey Oldies, this description fits you to a tee, doesn't it?

GOP Aghast!!! The Rich Should Pay More?

Fred Thompson has solution: Pay less than promised to poor so rich won't have to pay more to fix Social Security.

GOP: Anything but our pals paying their fair share. They are rich and deserve special treatment. The poor don't have as many bills to pay such as food, housing, and clothing. Hell, they can't afford to eat well, get good medical care, and their houses are hovels compared to our mansions. Hence, they don't need much money.

Hillary Laughs At GOP Corruption

The GOP is running against me for Prez, but I'm laughing, because those dolts have handed the election to me on a silver platter. Their bottomless corrution have turned people away from them, which will allow a baby-killer advocate like me to win.

Some Blowhard Puffing Himself Too Much? Sure-fire way shut him up. Method must be used sparingly. PETA upset that Bex reveals secret method. Caution: You aren't fond of crudeness? Skip! Stop his bragging

Who do You Want To Cover Your Back?

Beauty is only skin deep, isn't it?

The bad guys are almost upon you. You need help. You are outnumbered 10 to 1.

There are two possible sources of help. Either will help you fight if take her to the dance later that night.

You can choose only one.Who will you choose?

What Really Happened To The Three Bllind Mice That Ran After The Farmer's Wife?

Pit Stop No-Mor

Your over active bladder makes road trips something to dred due to pit stop at every restroom? Getting tired of this?

Simple solution:

Use the latest "Pit Stop No-Mor" to take the trip.

k\Think Twice Before You Act

You want a bite, but he does not want to share? So, you decide to take it all? A death wish , man. You know who he is?

No Atheist Here!!!

This guy was driving left to right, ran into the guard rail, flipped over, and landed just as shown in the top pictue.

Now look at the bottom picture to put things into perspective.

Computer Virisus Now Named For Politicians

Cyber-terrorists try daily to crash the US. Each virus has an exotic name cloaked as something good.

How would we have named non-terrorist viruses just a few years ago?

They would have been named<

Ij You Can't Beat 'em, Join 'em.

NUW, National Union of Women, not practicing what they preach, ie, equality.

Young man wants to undergo gender change and just be one of the gals. NUW having hissy fit just because young man hates women and is in prison as a serial killer of women.

Surely, he won't hate himself if he becomes a woman.

All I need is a little lipstick, dress, and rouge, and I'll be nice. Wait and See

says serial killer.

How Booze Can Help

Hey, all you alkies. Tired of constant nagging to stop drinking? Show those nagees some of the,

The positives of booze

Racism Defined

Part of university angry at race-based scholarship.

Heck, isn't this the norm for universities these days? Yeh, but this time it's restricted to white studens. White? White? Why, those, those racists.

Liberals expound,

This $ could be used for minority scholarships which isn't racist

.

Kitties Just Wanna Have Fun

All your life you wanted a black cat, but your Mom said no, because it is bad luck.

So, she gets you one of another color.

Bex shows you how to turn it black.

Gauranteed to work

Ben Hur's Baby Picture

You saw the movie Ben Hur with Charlton Heston. Bex did some research on the real Ben Hur. Found the only existing baby picture. If alive, Ben's Mom would coo, Yep! That's my boy.

How To Beat Flu Season

Can't afford to stop working when you are sick?

Don't worry. Try this.

Another Mystery Solved By Bex

You know you, like everone else, have wondered if pop singers are born or trained to be stars.

If you train them before they can breathe on their own, you have it made.

A star 's beginning

Tiny Hero To Rescue Beautiful Girl

Remember when the bullies kicked sand in your face, and you couldn't wait to grow up and get even?

Well, sadly, the bullies got bigger, too.

PETA Gets Punk'd

Renegade PETA member tired of eating all veggies. Breaks vows and sticks it to former club members.

NUW Socks It To Bex Again

Bex tried to make friends with NUW, National Union of Women, to show sorrow for past chauvinistic behavior. Only made things worse.

Bex wanted to show blonde jokes are just so much crap so they would stop.Sent Apple computer to blonde who has a PhD in PC computers. Wanted to show world how fast she could master this different technology

.

Waited 5 minutes and burst in with camera.

Blonde with first Apple.

Prez Dubya bush Leaves Legacy

Bex:

Dubya, sir, what have you to say to all the American children as you prepare to leave office? Can you say something to fortify their resolve for the future.

Dubya:

Of course.

Prez Dubya Bush Reacts To Charges Of GOP Corruption And Incompetence

Bex:

Dubya, sir, you are a lame-duck Prez who could not be elected to a dog-catcher post now. All America resents you because your incompetence and support of corrupt practices paved the way for Queen Hillary to become the next President. You should be ashamed. Dubya, sir, how do you respond to the feelings of Americans.

Dubya:

That's easy.

Singings Presidents Are Patriots

Some Presidents of the USA can sing better than many rock stars. All good citizens should listen to this rare recording showing

Singings Presidents Are Patriots

Average Woman, Jane Doe, Asked About Politics

Bex:

Jane Doe, you are a typical American citizen and voter who represents what all Americans feel about their politicians. True, they are noted for their greed and corruption, but maybe it could be different. I understand you have the same opinion of both the GOP and DNC. Please inform the public about your opinion of politicians.

Jane Doe:

My pleasure.

Dubya Speaks His Own Thoughts

Bex:

Dubya, sir, your term is almost over. All of America sees you as an incompetent dolt, but how do you see yourself in your own mind?

Dubya:

Well, Bex, I try to be modest, but ...

Age-Old Mystery Finally Solved

From the time of recorded history mankind has been fascinated with, of all things, flies.Not in flies as flies, but as to origin.They always seem to be around in rotten food, dead animals, and poo. Much scientific time has been wasted on researching the connection.

Finally, even maggots were eliminated as the source and scientists admitted defeat.

That is, until now. Bex has found the solution. It is not pretty, but it is a fact of life. Bex reveals this secret in the interest of science.

Origin of flies revealed at last.

Bex:

Dubya, We know you aren't too swift on the uptake, but what about the rumors that the Vice Prez calls the shots?

Dubya:

Huh?

Witch Hunters At School

Young children's minds are easy to mold, to teach moral values, to teach wrong from right. What better time to teach that gay lifestyle is normal, good, and makes you live happily ever after.

School says,

We'll teach 'em to be gay.

Parents say,

Well! The nerve. Giving our 1st graders books about the Prince wooing and winning the Prince...as though they were afraid we would shirk our duty.

School says,

Hmmph! You parents would have waited until the 2nd grade, when it should have been taught at birth.

School teaches 1st graders that "Gay Is Best"

3D In 2D

Truly amazing.

Click on the images on top and use your cursor in the window that opens.

Pavarotti Loves Elephants

Pavarotti is retired. That is, he no longer sings for the public. But he has a special bond with elephants. He,..he loves them.

Pavarotti says,

Do not listen unless you are an elephant

Free Medical Test

Test for Parkinsons Disease

Free important medical test

Be Lonely No More

It's very rough. All by yourself with no one to entertain you.

Bex to the rescue. Click on one the the faces above. (Middle one really likes you so click mouse in his frame)

Use cursor in the picture.

here i am

Jacko Incognito

Many people have made fun of Jacko just because he likes to share his love with little boys.

Bex is appealing for your help to fix his face so he can go without being recognized. Whoever does the best job will win two weeks' vacation at Never Never Land.

Jacko says,

please help me.

Test Your Vision

Do you like those pictures where the eyes follow you everywhere?

Would you like to learn how to do this trick?

Click the link, use mouse and cursor on the eye, and do the same with your eye.

Hey, this is easy to do

.

CA Gov Schwartzie To Rescue

Arnold aghast to hear California school cut all sports due to budget crunch. Schwartzie says,

I'll just cut more Medicade and aid for sissy, disabled kids.

Aids respond,

But Schwartzie, we already did that to enable tax cuts for the rich.

Schwartzie answers,

You idiots. Aren't some getting some aid? Cut that and charge a fee for doing so. Throw them in jail untill they pay.

Don't worry. This won't last long.

Can You Believe This? "Religion Of Love And Peace" Blamed

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Some mean-minded people are blaming the followers of Islam for the brutal murders in Spain.To foster this, some fakes are taking credit for it while claiming, falsely of course, to be members of that saintly religion.

Heard around enlightened people,

Why, we'd as soon blame the kindergarten children than to even harbor a thought that such murdering activities could be attributed to followers of Islam.

Read this article written by some prejudiced people.

Dangers Of Solubility

Did you ever stop to think about what could happen if you woke up one morning and were soluble?

Could this happen to you?

How Ice Cream Is Really Made

It starts off as only one flavor, and sellers make 100% profit.

Dubya Reveals Leadership Secrets

Bex:

Dubya, sir, what one thing do you most attribute to forming the legacy of your presidency?

Dubya:

My daily reading of this great book.

How Dubya Sees Himself

Dubya, What do voters think of you when they see you in that fancy flight uniform?

The same way I see myself.

One Of Jacko's Little Friends Tries To Escape

Barry Bonds Defines Baseball

Barry Bonds is known for his homerun power.

Bex:

Barry, what's with all these lies about you and others beefing up on steroids? All of America believe you do take the drugs.

Barry:

Well Bex, they are all liars, and I assure you that only know the truth.

Sould Emmigrants Be Required To Read English

Some states are debating on whether immigrants should be required to be literate in English.

You hear all sorts of theoritical and political reasons.

Here is one practical reason

University Of Georgia Out To Fail Jocks

Decides to set example wih hopes other universities will follow example. No more free grades or easy tests for players. They must now really work.

Coaches say,

A good education is more important than winning. If they can't pass, they are out.

Players say,

No fair. No one could pass now regardless of IQ.

Bex displays purloined copy of test for public.

A Good Offense Is The Best Defense

Let's say a complete stranger sits next to you. What are his intentions: To merely sit? To kill you? To molest you? To ignore you? Can you afford to assume this stranger is innocent, benign, and has no evil intention? Of course not.

Defend yourself in advance.

He/she won't try that again anytime soon

Help for Teen-Age Girls

Let's face it, girls. How many of you have parents that approve of your boy friends? They always complain, bitch, find fault, criticize, nag, and fuss about anything to do with him. Yeh, you know what I mean.

How would you like them to embrace, hug, brag about, and welcome him?

It's easy if you do it right. Just give them a little nudge in the right direction by renting a Parent-Nudger.

Present the Parent-Nudger as your new boy friend, and see how quickly they love the old one.

Guaranteed to work.

From The Mouth Of Innocent Youth

In today's world it is hard to find anyone who is not cynical. The best way to find unvarnished, unadulterated truth is to find someone who does not know how to lie.

This requirement excludes politicians. Let's see what one such person does when he is asked to define, "Stupid".

Get An Expert

Anyone in his right mind wants someone who really knows his stuff to hire for jobs.

Sometimes it's hard to know who knows what he's doing.

There is only one way to find out before he's hired.

You can know for certain