Larn Da Corrick Wan To Spik

The English Language is Strange

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face itEnglish is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for grantedBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that:

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teethShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetablesWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a playYet play at a recital?Park on driveways andDrive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacyOf a language where a house can burn up as It burns down

And in which you fill in a formBy filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computersAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is whyWhen the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watchIt starts

But when I wind up this observation,It ends.