Sheryl, totally smitten with herself, announces her solution to all environmental problems:
All everyone needs to do is to use one single sheet of toilet tissue after each poo.
In cases of explosive diarrhea, 2 or even 3 single sheets may be used.
In all humility I firmly expect to win the Nobel Peace Prize for my revolutionary solution.
This ditty will help you remember:
Poo is poo and is do-do.
When poo and your butt do meet, you only need one single sheet.
This will keep your backside clean and neat,
and leave no stains on the seat of your jeans.
Global warming will then soon stop,
so remember this when your poo goes plop.
